Heart Shaped Chocolate Hand Pies.



Did the title of this post get you excited? Good. Because I’m excited too. These are delicious and, if you use a refrigerated pie crust–they are almost too ridiculously easy.

I was feeling adventurous and I realized that my new food processor could make a pie crust. This pleased me. My grandma Jo made the best pie crust on the planet (like, mentioned it in her Obituary it was that good…seriously)–and well, I never had the guts to try to make my own. I think even she would be proud of the way this crust turned out. It was fab. Yes, fab. People say fab, alright?

If you aren’t feeling as adventurous, or are pressed for time, by all means use a refrigerated crust. (I’m clearly not against it if you remember this post…)

And, seriously, how cute are these fricken things? Not to toot my own horn or anything…but they are pretty darn cute. And perfect for Valentine’s Day. Absolutely. Yes. Trust me.


Food Processor Pie Crust:
Yields one double crust (or two single crusts…obviously)


  • 2 c. flour, sifted
  • 15 T cold butter
  • 1/2 t salt
  • 1/4 c. water


  1. In a food processor, mix salt and flour and gently pulse to mix for a few seconds. Don’t go crazy, ya’ll.
  2. Add in the butter (Since my food processor is small, I had to do two rounds of adding the cut butter and pulsing to incorporate–if you have a bigger food processor, add in all of that butter and pulse until crumbly)
  3. Drizzle in water and continue to pulse until a soft dough forms.
  4. Remove blade from food processor (this is important if you want to keep your fingers…) and scrape down the bowl to get all of the dough. Transfer to a medium sized bowl.
  5. Sprinkle the dough with flour, and begin to roll the dough into a ball. Use as much flour as necessary. Don’t be afraid.
  6. Cover the bowl of dough and refrigerate for atleast an hour.

Chocolate Hand Pies:
Yields about 7 Pies


  • Roll out pie crust of your choice
  • 1/2 c. chocolate chips
  • 8 oz of cream cheese
  • 1/4 c. sugar
  • 1/2 t. vanilla extract
  • pinch of salt
  • egg wash (1 egg whisked with a few tablespoons of water. Or use milk if you don’t want to waste the egg. Resourseful.)
  • sanding sugar for decorating


  1. In a medium sauce pan, combine all ingredients and stir frequently until well incorporated and melted. Place in the refrigerator or freezer to cool the filling before you start stuffing the pies.
  2. Roll out pie dough and use a cookie cutter to cut out the hearts. Re-roll out dough as you go. It made about 14 hearts for me, which is enough for 7 pies. Math.
  3. Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper (I used foil because I’m ghetto like that) and lay down a layer of hearts, about 2 inches apart. It fit 6 on mine, with an extra one I cooked on a different sheet because there’s no way I was waiting 30 minutes to make one stinking pie.
  4. Place a dollop of filling on each heart. (I am enjoying the fact that I got to use the word dollop. I never get to use that word)
  5. Place the remaining hearts on top of the filled hearts (I’ve been saying ‘hearts’ a lot. I want to use ‘dollop’ again…Dollop. Dollop, dollop, dollop.)
  6. Use a fork to crimp the outside edges of the pies. Poke a few holes in the pies while you’re at it. Look at you go.
  7. Brush with egg wash and top with sanding sugar. I used pink. Clearly, it does not look pink. Use red. Red would look oh so nice.
  8. Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes. Pat yourself on the back for making something so darn cute. You deserve it.


These are delicious for dessert…or breakfast. But, you know, I wouldn’t know. I totally don’t eat pie for breakfast…

Lots of Valentine’s Day related recipes/DIY’s/cocktails/playlists coming over the next couple of weeks. Stay tuned, ya’ll.



2 thoughts on “Heart Shaped Chocolate Hand Pies.

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