This past Monday, my favorite album turned 10 years old. There’s something about that realization that made me feel incredibly old. I remember going out to buy it when it came out–listening to it over and over again until even my mom knew the lyrics when I put it on.
‘Deja Entendu’ was a life-changing album for me. It in the pits of my adolescent despair, this album scooped me up and made me realize that I wasn’t alone in this world. There were other people out there that felt these emotions and this sometimes uncontrollable sadness…and in that, I found comfort. It has gotten me through some incredibly hard times in my life and I am forever in the debt of this band. Forever.
I may sound a little dramatic, but truthfully, it saved my life. I battled with sexual abuse and attempted suicide many times in my younger years and through that darkness was this incredible light. I put my headphones on and tuned everything else out. There is something about his voice that just flat-out speaks to my soul. It has always resonated with me and it always will.
I have replaced it many times over the years just because I wore it out but it is still one of the only albums I have that I could play over and over again and never get tired of it. And that, if you’ve seen my record collection, says a lot. It reminds me of the worst days of my life yet still defines the best days of my life as well. And if I told you that it didn’t give me goosebumps to this very day (after god knows how many plays) I would be lying. It still strikes a chord. It still makes me swell with emotion. And I love that it still has that effect on my life.
“Still & Storm” is a motto Adam and I have always had throughout our relationship and it is the phrase that will be engraved on the outside of our wedding bands so we are reminded every single day. That’s how much this band means to the both of us. And I can’t wait to buy Brand New onesies for our future babes.
I don’t know why I even bothered trying to explain what this album means to me. What this band means to me. I can’t even put it into words.
Happy Birthday, Deja Entendu. Thank you for everything. I could never be grateful enough. I love you.
Holding onto myself the best I can,