Hello. Is this thing on? Yeah? Despite popular opinion and all the cobwebs around these parts, I am not dead. Actually, a lot of things have happened since we last crossed paths. I finished Breaking Bad, mastered the art of French macarons (or atleast I think I have…), started a little baking business making cake balls for some fine folks…oh, and I GOT MARRIED AND PREGNANT. NBD, y’all. So, since you’ve missed my first 27 weeks of pregnancy…I thought I would catch you up on what’s been going on. You’re so welcome.
How I felt when I found out I was pregnant:
When my Doctor told me I had an ideal uterus for carrying a baby:
Women telling me about their vaginal tears during labor:
When my husband opens a beer while we’re eating dinner:
When I successfully make it through the Starbucks Drive-Thru without vomiting from the smell of coffee:
When people are staring at me while I’m eating donuts in my car:
Looking for a bathroom in a busy Department Store after pee-sneezing:
When my doctor told me I should eat less and excercise more:
How I feel when someone tells me “You look really pregnant today!”:
Trying to do Kegels:
Putting on clothes in the morning:
Anything on TV, pretty much. (Commercials included):
Taking off my bra for the day:
“If you do ____________ your baby will be born with _____________!”:
All in all, pregnancy has been a breeze. And we are so unbelievably excited to have a daughter in a few short months! Dang!
Anyways, I will be back to share some details about our Wedding Day/Honeymoon. They were magic!
Again, not dead.